|it has been a loooooooooooooong time............
||[Feb. 4th, 2009|10:05 pm]
|||||Real World Brooklyn, followed by Turning me on - Keri Hilson||]|
Well, it was time.
I came back to my livejournal page last week and I saw that the last time that i had written in it was February 4, 2008. So, I thought that it would be very special for me to start back exactly a year after i left off. Here we go................
The last time that I made an entry was when I was completely wrapped up in my looming college graduation. And although I was not allowing myself to be afraid of the prospect of not being employed then, it was definitely a major issue come graduation day.
Although I will not even get into the wild story that is my graduation day now, I think that this is something that I should add to this journal at some point. but for today, let's stick to a basic update.
Now, I am living in DC, however, I am now living by myself in a cozy (pretty small) studio in NW DC, and it's in a much better area than my other apartment was. Although my other apartment looked great, and the location was pretty convenient to school, as a college graduate, the neighborhood was not for me, and I really wasn't interested in living near Howard anymore.
In spite of the very real chance that I would not have a job, through a series of fortunate (and not so fortunate) events, I have a job at a small event planning firm in the Georgetown area. Although it doesn't quite pay as much as I would like it to, it's a great job. I get to travel across the country in the summer (working mostly, but still) and the people I work with are pretty great as well. I have been working full time there since December, after having worked there all summer as a seasonal temp. Since most of our events happen in the summer, it felt kindof weird coming in the middle of winter to work full time.
There hasn't been much romance in the past year, so i can skip over that for now. ok, so now onto the present:
Well, today was the first day since I have been back to work that I felt like I completely earned my paycheck. i spent my day updating multiple databases, designing registration websites and basically just being a bitch for anyone who needed me to be. It's days like this when I actually feel the happiest at work. For a while, when I first got hired on full time, all I could think was "why exactly did they hire someone for this position?" and my immediate next thought would be "I hope that they don't start thinking the same thing soon". It's not that i don't think that I can do the job, but it was just that there didn't seem to be a job there for me to do. but luckily, things started falling into place and now I feel like part of our little machine.
But my transition to where I am now was not as smooth as I am making it sound. Back in June, right after I graduated, while me and my two friends still had about 4 months on our lease, they decided to bounce. Not with much warning, they began looking for a new roommate to pay their combined part of the lease, so they wound up finding a 20-yr-old transgendered girl from PA. She was a pretty cool chick/guy/person. However, as a roommate, she wasn't really my kindof roommate. There were just some things that made me really mad that I was kindof left in my situation by my two friends. But eventually, the lease was up, and I was once again on the search for a place to stay. What followed was a very strange, very awkward stint where I was living with my sister in Maryland. Her with her Type A personality, her husband with his propensity to be alone and his general condescending nature, and her baby, whom although I LOVE TO DEATH *pictures definitely to come*, having her on the other side of my bedroom wall made my bedtime essentially 8:30. This lasted for 4 months. It basically consisted of me leaving work every night, going directly to the train to ride it for an hour, getting back to their house, eating dinner, and going to bed every night. It was boring, very painful, and I could not wait for it to be over. I was 22 yrs old living like I was a 40 yr old married straight man. No fun, no sex, no prospect of sex. It's not very fun trolling for trade on our once-a-week visits to Wal-mart and Costco. But as soon as I was hired on full time, I started searching for a place to live, and as soon as I found a place that I could afford and was in NW DC, I was on it! So I now live in DC again, and I really love it. I just like having the options that I did not have for the 4 months that I was living with my sister. Oh, and did I mention, that I was paying rent?????? $450 a month, to eat one meal a day, do my laundry about once a month, and spend most of my time playing Man-nanny to my niece and helping my sister baby proof her house because my brother-in-law kept finding passive aggressive ways to avoid it....... but enough of that now, that period is over. But now I am like a war veteran, having random flashbacks of the horror that I used to live daily.
I am really happy that I wrote on this page again. Although it does not feel quite as easy as it did in my head, I think that this is something that I need. i am constantly discovering over and over that i need to write. I am not saying that I am an exceptional writer, or that I can even write correctly, but I NEED to write. When I am not writing, I am brooding, letting my emotions bubble under the surface. Writing is the only way that I can actually release my feelings. I wish that I could vocalize my feelings better, but sometimes nothing gets it out of me better than just writing stream of consciousness style like this. Although I am sure that anyone reading this will be like "this shit is long, this shit is all over the place, and this shit isn't that interesting", but right now I am actually not completely obsessed with what other people are thinking of me. That's what writing does for me actually. I have been writing on another site for a while, www.takealookinmylens.com, but it just doesn't feel quite as personal as this one did for me. I still intend to keep that one going, but I think that this one can be the one that call home. It just feels so much safer for all of my personal thoughts, and it's just familiar. Well, I think that this was very beneficial. Hopefully it won't be very long before I return. This page is kindof like Narnia for me. I don't visit it as often as I should, but whenever I do, it awakens something inside of me. Night